a week i'd rather move on from....

If I think back to the last 7 days and what this household/homestead/family has been through, I actually start laughing. It's all I can do because we've seen it all.

Illness, check! Death of a beloved pet? Check! Vehicle breakdown on side of the road? You bet! Illness again? Ohhhh yes! Another snowstorm? Well obviously....
Seriously, I can't make this stuff up! This really has been our week but thankfully, we are trucking our way through it one day at a time and we have for the most part, been able to remain positive. We've had a virus circling through and thankfully it was super quick, but apparently a few days later when you think you are healthy you get another dose of it... Ryder is home sick from school today with stomach issues--my poor toilets!! And on Valentine's day evening (sometime during the night) my quarter horse Starr passed away. It was super sad and the minute Max walked into the house I already knew what had happened just by the look he had on his face. Starr was old, and was definitely starting to show signs of her aging, but the extremes that this winter has thrown at us really made it miserable for her. It was hard for her to get around in the deep snow and ice that kept accumulating so in a way, I felt relief knowing she is currently in a green pasture somewhere covered in apple trees for her to munch on all day long :) As for the vehicle breaking down, it is currently in the shop getting fixed, so I am told.

Okay, so like I mentioned, not the best week for the Johnson crew but we are hoping for better (and warmer!) days ahead... On Wednesday, we get to see our little babe for our 20 week ultrasound, and Friday morning we head to San Diego  for a long weekend with our good friends. I will get SUPER anxious right before our flights because I do worry about traveling without the kids, but at the same time, I am ready for a little vacation. It's calling for mid 70's while we are there and I think I may go in shock when I feel what 70 degrees feels like. My body just doesn't remember that kind of heat! Soon after we return, we leave yet again to Honolulu, Hawaii for a banking convention. We feel so blessed to have these opportunities during such a relentless wint
er, and we know that after baby #3 comes, we likely won't be getting away anytime soon, so we are going to take advantage of these vacations while we can! Facetime and Skype will be my pick-me-ups when I am missing home and the little ones! I know they will be in good hands and are going to have so much fun hanging out with all of their favorite people!

                                              

                                                                On to greener pastures, starr bella boo :) 

....this is how I know it's been a couple years since I was pregnant last

I can tell it's been a while since Max has been the husband to a pregnant wife. Last night, while chatting together on the couch doing a little trip planning, Max looked down and noticed there was a popsicle stick sitting in my lap, in addition to the one I was currently sucking away on.
Let me remind you, it's not warm here in the slightest and I may or may not have put some cozy socks and a big sweatshirt on just so I could comfortably eat my popsicle(s) without freezing.
He stared at me for a long time before saying, "It's like you're prepping for a craft project for Ryder or something with all the popsicles you've been collecting these days!" and burst out laughing. Then he quickly got up and made his way off the couch and out of my reach for his own safety.
Men.
To my defense, they are "organic fruit" popsicles and for whatever reason, I want them every night around 8pm. What baby wants, baby gets :)
Speaking of baby, we are still trucking along in a timely fashion. Tomorrow makes 18 weeks, and exactly 2 weeks until our next ultrasound. We've decided not to find out the gender at the ultrasound, but we may have the tech jot down the baby's gender (if she's able to see it!) in a card and seal it in an envelope for us where we will hopefully be able to open a couple days later while in San Diego with some of our closest friends. We'll see what happens!

honesty, and a much needed reminder...

Confession: Somewhere between last week and early this week, I will admit, I was losing it, people.
I know you are all thinking, weren't/aren't we all? This winter has been so draining. I'm not a huge fan of winter to begin with but this one has been unbearable. Trying to get outside to "play" with a toddler has been nearly impossible and being pregnant and already having my fair share of falls so far complicates things a bit more when it comes to moving around outside on the icy conditions. So, my body misses it's precious vitamin d (along with adult beverages, and lots of them, but thats a whole different story).
Anyway, I've been fearing winter ever since I decided to make staying at home a 'permanent' thing for the time being. Summer at home with the kids? Yes please! Fall? Absolutely! Winter.....Eh, not so much. Add to that fear the fact that we have been homebound and shut in for a huge part of this winter due to ridiculously below zero temps/wind chills and countless blizzards, etc and things get ugly.

Anyway, between hormones and hell for weather, I became the mom no one enjoys being around. I felt like I was a broken record, always repeating myself, snapping at my kids more than usual (especially Ryder, who really gave us a run for our money the last week or so -- I'm happy to say that he is improving and working his way back to his easy-going self now) and just plain unhappy. I began resenting being home all the time (and trust me, usually I LOVE being in the comfort of my cozy little home!) and more than anything started feeling sorry for myself. Sorry for the fact that I stay home and make conversation all day with a two year old and clean up the same messes every single day and stare at a pile of laundry that never seems to disappear no matter how many loads I do in a day. Sound familiar?! I would be willing to bet that anyone who is home with their kids for an extended amount of time does, at one point or another, wonder if this is really worth it. Thankfully, I am able to have these conversations with Max and he's usually able to cheer me up. He really is my biggest supporter and I never worry about him misunderstanding me. He knows that I am not ungrateful for the opportunity to stay home and not work right now, he just knows that at the moment I was overwhelmed.

My chats with Max helped, and we also took a couple hours to ourselves over last weekend to grab some groceries before the next day's blizzard, and also to go out to eat. (Quite the racy date, huh? :)) I also made a point to workout almost everyday this week, because I knew it would boost my mood but I still felt like I needed something else. It was then that I remembered a book that I cherish and was recommended to me a long time ago by a dear friend. The book is called "Out of the Spin Cycle: Devotions to Lighten Your Motherload" by Jen Hatmaker. I knew exactly which chapter I needed and went to it right away. The chapter that spoke most to me this time (I have went back and read different parts of this book repeatedly over time) was titled, "Greatness, Credit, and Other Myths of Motherhood". The entire chapter is about 'serventhood' and how it relates to being a mom. You see, when I became a SAHM, I began to think that only I could perform certain tasks the right way, because I now 'managed' this family day to day. This is so not true friends. My husband and I have been a team since day one. Just because I stay home doesn't mean that I am superior to him regarding how things need to get done around here. Also, my husband's life didn't magically become 'better' or 'easier'  just because he "gets" to go to work everyday, with other adults, in normal work clothes, with a quiet office to think in..... You get the point! I was feeling resentment and I was subconsciously taking it out on those around me.  Luckily, after reading my little chapter I resolved to end the week on a brighter note. No one wants to be around a crabby mama! As you can probably tell, I love this book to pieces. I haven't read her other material (yet) but I plan to eventually. She is a christian author, so you may or may not agree with everything she writes about, but I promise that as a mother you will likely find at least one chapter (or 5) that speak to you in this book ;)

simply..... simplifying.

This weekend was hard on my pregnant little hormonal self.
After the new year, and with our vacations (I don't know when the last time I got to use a plural "s" after the word 'vacation'?!? So excited!!) coming up in the next couple months, Max began talking about wanting to simplify our little homestead. The first thing he brought up was the chickens. We've had them for a few years now and they weren't laying eggs anymore. Apparently this was the cycle of life for most chickens. I had no idea. I understood his reasoning for this because we were basically buying feed for chickens who were no longer providing us with anything in return and since Max is usually the one doing chores, I could understand where he was coming from. So last weekend, the chickens went bye bye and I will need to find new sources for my eggs!
After the chickens, he brought up the idea of maybe finding a new home for Murphy. If you don't know the story (or stories, I should say) with Murph, then you may not understand this one but basically we took in a second golden retriever as a favor to help out a neighbor and a friend of my brothers who was in a bind with this puppy last year. He was 6 months old when we got him. Murphy is now almost two and he has caused us more anxiety/stress/frustration than we could have ever imagined. He couldn't be left alone with the kids outside which was super annoying (and weird, for a golden) and he basically destroyed anything he came in contact with, including any/all packages that would get delivered, shoes, and oh yes, sheetrock and wood trim in our garage as well. Most of this is just puppy stuff and we figured he would outgrow it so we held on for quite a while. I spent every tuesday evening with him last spring at a puppy obedience class and due to his 'running' habits, we also spent a small fortune on a wireless fence and collar so that he could stay safely in our yard instead of bothering our neighbors. Basically, we tried. The thing is---we just never could fall completely in love with him. With our growing family, we knew he wouldn't be able to get the proper training that he desperately needs so we did a little research and found an amazing organization that only take in golden retrievers, foster and train them, and then find them forever homes. After a weeklong debate and many phone conversations with this organization (they were so patient with my indecisiveness!) Murphy left on Saturday to meet his new foster parents. I cried. Alot. But in the end, I know it was best for Murphy, and I am finding peace with this decision.  I won't lie that I also felt relief by the end of the day. Murphy was the cause of a lot of yelling, and a lot of stress between Max and I. I am so excited to be able to follow him to see where he ends up and how he does with his new family. Our (almost) 5 year old golden Mickey seems to be okay with this situation as well. He has now decided that he gets free reign of our house and is so far loving all the attention he has been missing out on.
On a more positive note, the sun was out today and the 30+ degree weather allowed me to lace up my running shoes and head out for a run. It felt so amazing to finally be able to be outside and get some much needed sunshine and cardio, with plenty of walking breaks here and there for baby, of course :)

big girl panties

I'm so proud of my little Piper Grace. About a week ago, I decided I was ready, (yes, me) to give potty training another round. I had tried to work with P a couple months ago, and it was clear that she really wasn't ready so I took her cue and decided to put it off for a awhile longer. Since last week was freakishly cold, I knew we were going to literally be stuck in the house for days and figured it would be the perfect time to attempt to ditch the diaper. I chatted with her about it one morning and simply took her diaper off and kept it off for the rest of the day. In fact, I made sure my house was nice and cozy warm because my little one basically ran around either naked (with just socks on!) or at least naked from her belly button down for the better part of the following 4 days. The first day, she had accidents and honestly didn't mind much. We spent most of our days on our hard floors so accidents were relatively easy to clean up. By day 2 I could tell she was catching on much more and only had one or two accidents and at this point she knew when she had gone where she wasn't supposed to and it would upset her a little. The next couple days continued to get easier and easier. I still felt like a broken record asking "piper, do you have to go to the bathroom? tell mommy when you have to go potty" -etc, etc but she became really confident in answering yes or no.

Things I found helpful while potty training:

-We kept our potty chair in the living room, or whatever room we were spending time in. By having her see it and know where it was at all times seemed to make her more comfortable.

-Rewards :) After each successful bathroom visit, Piper would get 4 m&m's. She thought this was awesome and now she doesn't usually even remember to ask for her "emmies" as she calls them.

-Bragging Rights. Piper would get SO excited if she was able to go in front of other people: her grandparents, her auntie, Ryder, etc. She loves to call people and tell them she only wears big girl panties now and that "DIAPERS ARE FOR BABIES!" :) Seeing her be so proud of herself was really fun for me to watch.

-Stick to it. Even on the days that we HAD to run to town for different things and before I was fully confident in her "holding it" abilities, I refused to put a diaper on her, because I knew it would just confuse her. I just took my chances and brought extra clothes everywhere we went. So far, it has worked out :)

CHEERS TO A FEW MONTHS OF NOT HAVING TO BUY DIAPERS :)

just working on her fitness ;)

*twenty-fourteen*

2013 was a great year for my little family.
I accomplished (and surpassed) a great deal of the goals I had set for myself, and of course there are also still things I am striving to work on. My main theme for the year was "Stress less, Pray More, and Run Farther" I tried to keep this in my mind throughout the year. I know for a fact that my stress level has gone down, I continue to work on deepening my relationship and communication with God, and I managed to run farther than I ever thought possible not only once, but twice this year. Even better, I enjoyed doing it.
I know that Max killed many of his goals for this past year also and I am so proud of him for it.
My kids are happy and healthy and that is really all I could hope for from them at this point :)

Now that the new year has begun I was forced to start thinking of new goals for myself. Being pregnant, most of my goals were not fitness/running related, so I had to think outside the box a bit this year. It took me a LONG time to come up with these goals. Here's what I will be working on for 2014:

1- Attempt one thing I am uncomfortable with per week
2- Have coffee with Max at least 3x per week in the mornings- before the kids are up. (I hate mornings--this also means I need to start going to bed earlier.)
3- More playdates for the kids, more entertaining for us, more visiting family and friends, and more traveling.
4- Take more pictures.
5- Continue with my yoga practice and aim for 3 camelback's of water per day, minimum.

Cheers to the new year :)

New Year, New Baby!

Happy New Year!!
2014 is looking quite promising over here... I want to blog a recap of 2013 and also want to share some of my resolutions and things I'm hoping to work on/learn in 2014 but I'm not quite organized enough yet to post that particular blog-- (go figure!) so instead I will chat about the last 14 weeks of my life.
We are thrilled to announce that we are expecting #3 in early July of this year! July 9th, is my exact due date so somewhere around then, Max and I will officially be outnumbered by kiddies around here. Scary! :) Since there is a GOOD chance that this will be our last baby, and my last pregnancy, I want to make sure that I document all that I can remember... Not saying a fourth baby is NOT in our future, but I can say it's never been in our 'plan' so likely, this baby will complete our family! With that being said, here's a bit to get you up to date....
A lot of people have asked us if we were "trying" to get pregnant. The answer is yes, sort of. We had been 'paying attention to things' without being overly optimistic for the last couple months. At the end of October I realized I was a few days late, and on our way to watch my cousin's play in Anoka on Nov. 1st, I told Max that we should pick up a test on the way home just to ease our minds. We didn't think we were pregnant. The play went longer than I expected so my plan of running into Target (my beloved store where I first found out I was pregnant with Piper!)  wasn't going to happen since by that time all the stores were closed. I still desperately wanted to know by that point so I convinced Max to let me stop at a 24hr Coborns (classy!) in Elk River where we not only bought, but took the test. I can be a little impatient with these things ;) Then we left and soon after leaving the store we got stuck waiting for an incredibly long train. It was then that I took the test out of my purse and asked Max to look at it. His response was something along the lines of "YEP! IT SAYS YEP!"
We were both more than a little surprised, extremely happy, and yet both had a feeling of "Holy shit, what now??" :) I think we chatted nonstop for 30 minutes and then for the rest of the ride home we were silent. Both taking it in as we thought about how our lives would be changing, once again!
We didn't tell anyone for quite a while. Although I was super happy about this baby, I also felt very guarded about sharing the news. I was terrified that I would wake up and no longer be pregnant one morning. Our first appointment was at 8 weeks and I felt much better after seeing our little one's heart fluttering on the ultrasound machine. Soon after, on Thanksgiving, we shared the news with our families and some close friends. We had another ultrasound at 12 weeks to monitor some spotting I had been having and once again got to see our sweet baby! The following week we made it public that we were expecting and since then we have just been patiently checking each week off the calendar... In two days, I will be 14 weeks along and officially out of my first trimester. It really does seem like it flew by, the but the holidays kept us so busy I figured that would happen.
I will say that overall, this pregnancy has been EASY. I never got the extreme fatigue that I did with both Ryder and Piper. When pregnant with them, I would literally go to bed by 8:30 everyday because I was just so exhausted. That never happened this time around. I always felt like I had adequate energy and although I would make myself rest for 20-30 minutes and put my feet up during naptime each day, I always felt somewhat normal. I never got sick with morning sickness although I didn't always have the strongest appetite. I would eat really small things every couple hours because the thought of a big meal overwhelmed me most days. The thing I have noticed the most is that the foods that sound good to me have changed. I am a huge protein fan normally. I know how important it is in your diet and pre-pregnancy my breakfasts and snacks consisted mostly of protein. Most breakfasts I would have a protein shake, or a whole wheat english muffin with peanut butter and string cheese, or eggs of some type.... Since being pregnant, however, the only things I have been eating for breakfast is a bowl of special k cereal or yogurt. This morning I even had toast with jelly. These aren't crazy things by any means, but they are crazy for me. I NEVER eat cereal, or jelly for that matter. I also need strawberries on hand at any given time. Basically anything sweet and carb-loaded sounds good to me, which is just not my typical diet. Oh well! The only other signs of pregnancy that I've consistently had would be the lovely acne that has taken over my face (thank goodness for makeup- ugh) and I've been incredibly out of breath. I don't recall ever having that with either of my last 2 babies, but from what I've read and heard from my doctor, it is actually a common pregnancy symptom. Who knew?!
My belly is also growing, which I am actually thankful for because up until now, it has just been in the awkward "looks like I've just simply had too many christmas cookies" stage and although I hadn't really gained any weight, majority of my jeans/pants have not been fitting for a while now. The small belly I do have, is much lower than I remember with Piper so my clothes fit so much more different than when I was pregnant with her. I also have only had a few headaches, which is a relief because I had horrible headaches nearly every evening with P... When I compare the two pregnancies, they are like night and day, but then again, every baby is different!
We haven't made a solid decision as to whether or not we will find out the gender of this baby. I would like to be surprised and find out at delivery, but Max is leaning towards a gender reveal party and finding out at the same time as our family and friends... Luckily we have a good 6 weeks or so before we have to decide until our 20 week ultrasound scan! We appreciate any prayers for a happy, healthy baby :)
STAY WARM TODAY!