wondering out loud...

Today was such a great day...Actually, all week was pretty perfect if you ask me. Not only was the weather nice but Ryder and I just had tons of fun hanging out with family and friends. On Tuesday we visited The Amaze N Farmyard with my sister-in-laws (there must be a shorter name for these people??) and all the kiddos. Ryder had an absolute blast and is already asking when we can go back... If you haven't been, I recommend you go and check out all they have to offer, it's relatively inexpensive, has lots of things to entertain the kids with, and best of all, it's local and close -- which is fabulous for your gas tank! Then Ryder had fun in the evenings with T-Ball which he really seems to love, and he even got to go to a Saints game with Max for some quality bonding time... Yeah, he's a pretty lucky kid. :)

On top of all that, today was HOT outside and we spent the entire afternoon in the lake at the Johnson Cabin once again with my in laws and the kiddos... I love that cabin because it's like time slows down (or just doesn't even matter), the kids are always entertained, there are millions of golden retrievers running around, there is always good food --(a big bonus for preggo, here), and it always reminds me of my wedding! After that we had some rest time back at home and then I got to head off to therapy  zumba and had a kickass workout that left me feeling good and motivated! After all that, I was able to come home and put my sleepy child to bed, which led to the reason for this blog anyway--although I seem to have gotten a little sidetracked...

Let me explain myself... I got home tonight and Max told me they had a "quiet evening" because Ryder just wasn't quite feeling up to par I guess (probably just overly exhausted from being out in the sun all day is my guess) and he shared with me that after I left Ryder burst into tears because he wanted mommy to tuck him into bed tonight... (Melts my heart!!) Needless to say, I was very happy that I got home before Ryder was tucked into bed and ohhhhh the snuggles were SO worth it!! I let Ryder say his own prayers tonight and the way he was talking to God was just so sweet, and the things he thinks of to pray for are so cute and thoughtful (and also funny-- for example, Ryder prayed that he didn't have bad dreams, then he gave an example to God---> "And bwess me God to not have any scary dreams about monsters, and no monsters in my room, in my closet, under my bed, under my desk, in the hallway, in the bathroom" --etc, etc. I literally think he named every location in the house he could think of!!) And then he prayed for his baby sister and had to bend down to my belly and give her a big goodnight kiss and told her he can't wait to meet her... When prayers were finally over, I layed with him for a couple mins and these are some of my FAVORITE minutes of the entire day... Sometimes I get busy and want to rush through bedtime but when I get to the end when I take the time to lay with Ryder I always wonder why I rush through it... When we lay, Ryder gets real still and snuggles up to me and puts his hand on my cheek, or somewhere on my face, almost to ensure that I'm still there or something. It is the sweetest thing and it melts my heart just thinking about it. Then when I whisper goodnight he always tells me to have sweet dreams :)

After I left his room tonight I couldn't help but think, how in the world will I love a second child as much as I love Ryder?? Does that sound bad? It probably does, and don't get me wrong-- I already love this baby girl so much, but I can't help but wonder how it works when your life has revolved around one little boy for the last 4 years and suddenly you have to divide your time, love, and attention with a whole other baby... I'm not going to lie, it baffles me. Growing up, I always remember my mom saying "I love my children equally, I love you all the same" --but it seems crazy to me now to think that my love for Ryder will be doubled once this new little one joins our family as well...Either way, I'm excited to find out!! 15 weeks and counting....