Patience, people....

For those of you who don't know my educational background, I graduated from St.Cloud State with a degree in Community Psychology....For those of you going, "huh"??? Let me explain. My classes were kind of a mix between social work classes, psychology of the brain, child development classes, ethics, stats, etc etc... I actually love school. I love learning in general (lame, right?) and wouldn't be surprised if I end up going back some day to get my Masters.... In addition to my classes, my major required me to take a lot of behavior modification classes. In a nutshell, how to change the behavior of someone. Pretty useful information, especially when you have children, and work with children, right?? Most of it actually seems like common knowledge sometimes, but we don't always do it. Let me rephrase that... I don't always do it.
Ryder is 5 years old. 90% of the time, he is SO easy going and lovable. Since he is 5 and is capable of dressing, bathing, eating, playing, by himself (or mostly by himself) sometimes I feel like I treat him older than he is...Or at least, I forget that he is still straddling the line of dependence and independence as a kid. As his parent when I am laying in bed with him saying his prayers at night, I ALWAYS pray for my kids (both of them) to learn to be "kind, respectful, hard working, happy, and  honest". Pretty much in those exact words. If there are a few things I really want them to "get" in life, those are a few of the most important, in my opinion.
So why am I blogging about this? Why am I sharing my shortcomings as a parent with you? Let's go back to what I was saying earlier, about Ryder straddling the line of independence and dependence (and will likely continue to be for many many years to come!) I have noticed this shift in Ryder (maybe in part because of his age, or possibly with the birth of a new baby sister) where sometimes he just wants to be "big" and "growed up" (his own words). Other times, I will tell him not to do something, and if he doesn't like to tone of my voice, or the fact that I had to correct him on something, he will absolutely burst into tears much like a 2 or a 3 year old would do. This is not actually typical Ryder behavior, and so it frustrates me. After all, he is growing up, growing older, becoming more independent, why start these "babyish acts" now?? Then, in return I get more upset/angry with Ryder, which then upsets  him more (because like a good little boy, he doesn't like to disappoint his parents) and the cycle goes on and on! So, behavior modification....Common sense sometimes, but difficult to practice in real life all the time. I know (when I'm thinking rationally) that if I want Ryder's behavior to change, I need to first figure out what it is that he's getting out of his behavior. In most cases, it's probably my attention. Now, if I was a perfect parent, (which I SO am not) I would be SO good at providing Ryder with positive reinforcement regularly throughout the day that this would probably not even be an issue. Clearly, that's not happening. Or at least, it's not happening enough. The "smart" mommy in me says that instead of trying to correct all of his outbursts with punishment AFTER the fact, I need to consciously be rewarding him for positive things that I notice throughout the day. The hope is that a great deal of his negative behavior would decrease, and he would continue the positive behavior more frequently since his main goal is positive attention from mommy... Am I confusing you? If so, no worries, I confuse myself all the time. Let me just say---it makes sense in my head :) Now, I may have just spent the last 20 minutes of Piper's naptime blogging about how I have the answer to my own problem, but I promise you that it doesn't mean my problem is solved. It just simply means that as I reflect, I realize that I do know better than this (something I say to Ryder all the time, interestingly enough) and I CAN do better, as a mom. At least, I'm willing to try.... If I want to teach Ryder (and Piper) to be kind, respectful, hard working, honest, and happy, I should probably lead them by example, right? Woah. Mind boggling stuff here for a Thursday morning, I know.... Like I said, common sense, but sometimes the things that seem easiest in theory can be the hardest to put into action.
Therefor, I decided to try something new with Ryder starting this week. I am in the process of making him a little 'punch card' and whenever he does a good deed without being told to, or if I just notice something really positive that he's doing (random act of kindness?), he will be getting a sticker on his card. When he fills it up, he will get different rewards (a special "date" with mom and dad, going to a movie, etc). He's super excited about it and so am I. Although there are many things that Ryder currently needs to work on, so do I... Patience being one of those things. So, as always in this house, we'll give it a try and maybe it will work great, and maybe it won't, but either way, it's worth giving it a shot.

Mary Mary, Quite Contrary....

How does your garden grow?!
Well friends, for possibly the FIRST time ever, I can actually give you an answer to that silly riddle. It is (for once) growing great! This is the first year that I decided I was really going to get into this whole gardening thing. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my flowers and playing around with my landscaping, but I usually leave the vegetable gardening to Max, because it's big and intimidating. This year, however, we double teamed it and after many long hard and HOT hours in the sun this past weekend - there is not a weed in it! (Okay, maybe a few, but who's counting??) Obviously, I had to take a picture of it because goodness knows it probably won't last too long looking this way, but a girl can dream, right?!

And this, is what happens when a stay-at-home mommy gets quite bored and is feeling somewhat crafty during the day:

Because of all the work on the deck, Mr. Andy Gilbertson had lots of these little stakes laying around and he so graciously let me keep them instead of throwing them away so that I could paint them up and make some markers--because this lady gets a little confused every once in a while when trying to remember what I put where! 

So in case you were wondering what my Saturday consisted of this past weekend, there you have it. Ryder had a visit with his Grandma Nancy and little P hung out in her pack and play next to the garden while I pulled weed after weed and Max worked the tiller. In all honesty, it was so relaxing to be out there working the soil, getting sweaty, and chatting it up with the hubby enjoying our little homestead :) 

Then of course, we had to celebrate our hard work on Sunday with a breakfast brunch on the pontoon (we skipped out on church---sorry PJ and Kels!) It was the perfect morning and we didn't waste a second of it being inside. We were literally at the cabin from 10am to about 8pm and it was so relaxing! Piper even put her little swimsuit on and took her first dip in the lake--and she actually somewhat enjoyed it!

YIKES!

Has it really been over a month since I blogged last?! More like a month and half....Really??
I'd like to say that I simply forgot to do it, but I didn't....Not at all, actually. The truth is that the last time I blogged was May 6th- and May is simply a bad month for me. Wrapping up the school year is absolutely no fun for me at all, and the stress of it really hit me hard this year. I've had millions of emotions/bad days/ and topics that I could easily have vented to all my wonderful blog followers on PLENTY of occasions.....However, I chose not to. (You are welcome :)) I've been struggling. I don't know how else to say it, but I really just had a bad couple of months in terms of my attitude towards most things....Not all of it has been related to work, but mostly in general I just have had the feeling that my 'to-do' list just continues to grow and grow and nothing ever gets accomplished the way I want it to. Instead of coming on here, logging on, and rehashing all the stuff that has been bringing me down, knowing it would only more than likely bring anyone reading this down also, I chose to simply take a break from the blogging world. The good news is that it's now summer break and I can take a few steps back and just relax and love on my babies...And blog, of course :)
June has been SO unbelievably busy. We have literally had something going on every single weekend, which is fun--yet exhausting at the same time. Piper started crawling in early May--and since then NONE of us have stopped moving, in an attempt to keep up with that girl. She is trouble!  busy, but we love her.... Ryder started t-ball, so he's a pretty happy guy and is looking forward t kindergarten in the fall. I'm still coming to terms with this! MJ just finished his very first 1/2 Marathon, so I am ONE. PROUD. WIFEY :) Max and some friends ran the Grandma's 1/2 Marathon in Duluth last weekend and he finished the race with a time of 1hr and 48 minutes. I am so pumped for him (and Kyle, Joe, and Leah), and only a little bit sad that I didn't hop on the bandwagon too so that I could have ran w/ him.... Or let's be honest, behind him... Maybe next time?? As for me, I'm adjusting to my new role (for the time being) as just mommy. Or, mommy/house keeper/landscaper/chauffer/doctor/babysitter/maid/playmate/chef/wife/magician/etc ---whatever you prefer to call it ;) Oh- and in case you were wondering- I'm still on track with the 'one a month' running goal and finished the "Lola's Lakehouse 5K" in Waconia with Max, Joe, and Kyle on June 9th. Coming up in July is of course, the Watercade 4-Mile Run/Walk and the following weekend is the Color Run in the cities which I am SUPER excited for. I haven't stopped running my mouth about it since one of my besties texted me about it (thanks, sam!) and so literally, I don't even know who all is doing it anymore. I just know alot of us are, and it's going to be a good time... I don't have one for August yet (so I'm thinking I will just invent one in honor of the legendary twine ball and it's designated day--I heard the mayor thinks he's Usain Bolt (my husband told me to say this) so maybe he can pull some strings?? ) , but September is up in the air.... Kristin and I are considering (if she gets her but up here from Key West!!) the Women Rock 10K/ 1/2 Marathon .... We shall see :)